Confidence & Self-love

Confidence and self- love. Two very big and essential words in life. Two words I never thought I would ever be able to feel myself, to be honest. Ever since I’ve been a little child, I was always rather shy than others, but only on the first glimpse. I wouldn’t let many people in, but as soon as I did, and they get to know me better, they will eventually have to deal with the bubbly and overall crazy version of myself. It’s never been easy for me to let my guard down for others, but when I meet people that I feel like trusting, I certainly do so.

Considering my past experiences, I tend to do that way too early though. I trust people, open up to them, before I get the chance to discover that they are not at all how I thought they would be. And why is that so? Because I tend to see the good in people. I am not the kind of person, who would ever think of someone’s hidden cruel intentions at first. The reason for that, so I’m guessing, has so far been my rather low self-esteem. I never thought of myself as a strong, beautiful, and worthy woman. I wouldn’t understand why someonewould actually like me for who I am, because I wouldn’t fully accept myself the way I am. And how do you expect someone to like you if you don’t even like yourself? Yes, exactly- not possible ladies!

It took me a while to get aware of that, but as soon as I did, everything seemed to have changed. I saw myself in a way I never had before. I was self-confident, strong, and I stood up for who I am. I still am way too kind for this world though, but anyhow. That is who I am and I don’t think I will ever be able to completely drop that character trait, but instead, I learned something way more important: I learned how to protect myself in a better way. And that is something I can only advise you guys: start thinking of yourself first, and then of the needs of others! Even if it might seem selfish at first, it is the best you can do for yourself. People come and go in your life, but you will have to deal with yourself forever.

And something else to give you along the way: stop winding and crying over mistakes you made in your past. It won’t change anything because it happened in the past and everybody knows you cannot change the past! Rather, look forward and watch out for upcoming events, so you won’t make the same mistakes again. You learn from them. They may tear you down for a while, but you will always come back, just as a stronger version of yourself.

Have a good one!

Lots of love,

Svenja xx

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rebounds.

We all know them. Those situations that just punch you in the face and throw you back hundreds of metres. Those situations that make you feel small again, weak, and helpless. Those situations that you have always feared because deep down you knew they are part of life and sooner or later you will have to face them, at least once in your life. But you would have never expected them to be so painful. You would have never expected them to cut so deep, even though you know that it is not the end. You know that it is not all bad, and you know that there are much more worse things happening in the world right now- but still. You feel as if someone brought you to cloud nine and dropped you from there. You felt happiness, hope, and freedom up there, but they let you go. They didn’t hold you tight enough and just let go.

In most of those cases, the worst thing is that it is not even your fault. Or anybody’s fault. It is time, place, or distance. Something one can not influence. Something one cannot plan or recreate. In life, things do not happen planned. They happen as they come. And they end as they come.

Sometimes everything feels perfect, everything feels fallen into place, and then you fall from the edge. Because there is one thing that is just not right- and that is time. But you cannot influence it. Either it fits, or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t it breaks you heart. Your world crashes in front of you and you feel small. You feel helpless because there is simply nothing you can do. Just nothing.

Everyone around you always tells you to listen to your heart. To listen to your feelings and emotions and you’ll know what to do. But that’s not true. Sometimes, even your heart can’t tell you what to do. Sometimes, even your heart feels helpless and empty. Because you only had a split second to enjoy the happiness that came with it, and you had to let go too early. But there is nothing you can do. You need to look forward, straight forward, and focus on your goals. You need to redirect your focus on the things you want to achieve in life, with or without a fixed heart.

At least, you got a glimpse of what happiness tastes like when it feels right.

L.O.V.E

Love. One word, four letters. The big impressive word. Some people make a very big deal out of it, some cannot even appreciate the gift of receiving it. But what in the world does this mysterious four-letter word actually mean? Well, I’m guessing if I knew the answer to that question, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post.

For sure, there is more than one kind of love. When you think about it, there’s so many different kinds. But they all have one thing in common: they are so precious. There is no bigger gift one can receive than love. It doesn’t have to be a romantic kind of love, it can also just be a friendship, or family. But the feeling of being loved and giving love to people is unbelievable. Making people happy is something very little which can lead to big changes. I cannot think of anything more fulfilling than sharing my happiness and love with other people. It’s not about giving big presents; what counts are little gestures.  It’s the little things that make the difference.

But why is it sometimes so hard for other people to show love? What often happens to me, is that I expect other people to behave and think the same way as I do. I always thought that everyone had the same attitude towards life as I do. Well, I always used to believe solely in the good of people. So, I thought people would behave the way they wanted to be treated by others; because that is how I stumble through life 😀 Pretty soon I had to find out that it is definitely not the way everyone lives their life.

Still, a little bit love never hurt nobody right? We often take way too many things for granted. We keep things to ourselves and we leave words unspoken, while saying those words or showing those feelings would make people very happy. Spread love and make other people happy, it makes yourself feel so much better. It makes you aware of how precious words are and what differences they can make within relationships. Words are all you need.

Disappointment.

Unfortunately, there is one big negativ aspects coming along with giving love, opening up to someone, and letting down your guard. The feeling of disappointment. Personally speaking, it is always the same procedure. Opening up your heart, being happy, getting your hopes up, and then being dropped like a toy. But how do we handle disappointment? Just never opening up again, never letting anyone else in will eventually lead to never being disappointed again. But, that would also lead to not living. It would mean being cowardice. It would mean, you are not strong enough to learn from your mistakes. Of course you can be hurt for a while. But, think back for a second. Has it ever helped you in any way to complain and wine about the things and people that hurt you? The answer you are looking for is NO!

There are only two options: make moves or make excuses. Whenever you fall down, you are allowed to feel hurt. But as soon as you cried out your heart, you continue living your life. You don’t stop believing in the things you’ve believed in before. You don’t stop chasing for what you’ve been chasing for before. The things or people that hurt you are not worth your passions or even your love. It is your life. Don’t let it be destroyed by anyone. Ever.

The photo I chose is one of many from my trip to Austria. When I sat on this bench, I had this amazing view and I was able to look at the big wide world out there. It made me focus on my goals. It made me see the, all clear and it made me realise that I am willing to fight for the things I want.

Lots of love,

Svenja xx

Motivation: #neverstopchasingyourdreams

Why do we care so much about our weight, about our looks and our outer appearance? Why is it so important to us to look good for others in order to be fine with ourselves? The answer is because we want to love ourselves truly for who we are. And we are not satisfied with an unfinished version of us. We are only happy with the best. With the best of us and the best of others. But people sometimes forget that it is totally okay not to be “your best version” for a couple of days. You can have bad days, bad weeks, what counts is that you get back on track and remember the reasons why you’ve started. The reasons for becoming exactly that person that you still are deep down inside. Because even after such a downfall, this person doesn’t just disappear. Outstanding people know nothing about you. Not a single thing. They are not allowed to judge anybody in any way if they don’t know them or their personal life at all. It is so annoying to see how I get influenced by people’s judgements that easily. I cannot believe I ever let them control my thoughts, my behaviour and let them succeed in their judgements. It’s crazy when you just think about it. I do whatever I want and whatever I think is best for me and my body. I am an independent person, I don’t need anyone else to decide things for me or make choices for me. I mean, why would I?

And even if you don’t succeed in your passionate hobbies right away, that is totally fine too. But you should never ever stop doing what you love just because people mock you. Just because people don’t believe in your success or if they just clearly don’t understand your goals in life. Why would you base your own beliefs, your own passions on someone else’s beliefs and passions? That doesn’t even make any sense. This is your own life. In the end, you are all alone. In the end, you will have to live with yourself and the life you created yourself.

And how would you feel living a life that is based on what other people like? Indeed, you wouldn’t enjoy it at all. So, stop caring about what other people think and start creating your own things. Start doing what you love, what you admire, what you dream, and what you’ve always wanted. Regardless from them. Regardless from the people, who say that you will never make it and regardless from the people, who mock your hobbies and ask why the hell you are even doing what you do because nobody cares. It is not about them, it is all about you. Because in the end, it’s not them who is living your life. It is you. It has always been you and it will always be you. Only you and nobody else. I must admit that it is sometimes pretty hard for me to always have this attitude. To always stay focussed on my own goals and not drop any of them because people don’t approve. But the closer you get to them, the more you realise how good it is to have them. But guess what, I always think about whether I will eventually even reach my goals. But is that so essentially important? I guess I can’t even answer that myself. But even if I won’t, walking on the path of achieving my goals is satisfaction and happiness enough. It’s a challenge I am willing to agree on taking. And even though I’ve fallen on the ground so many times, and I’ve been disappointed constantly, I still believe that as long as you hold on to your dreams and believe they might someday come true, they will come true. Believe in it and you are halfway there.

 

The reason for my absence was my skiing trip to Austria. It made me realise how importan it is to focus on your own goals, and to never let anybody talk you down in any way. This is the reason I chose this beautiful photo I took back there. It’s one of my favourite ones because it represents so much magic and calmness.

Lots of love,

Svenjaxx

Fitness: A pretty glow or a lifestyle?

‘Oh, so you’re into fitness? You buy expensive gym outfits and pretend you are living healthily? When you actually do hit the gym, what do you do? Some abs and glutes workout, then hit the treadmill for an hour and leave?’ Who has not heard this phrase before… I hate when people think of me in that way. Especially men think that way about the majority of women who mention going to the gym or counting fitness to one of their hobbies. But fitness is so much more to me.

People often ask me why I go the gym. They ask me why I work out (especially my upper body) that much and why I don’t just cut weight lifting at all. They ask me whether I want to look like a tank, or a bodybuilder any time soon, and as soon as I reject that, they offensively say ‘why the hell do you do it then?’ Well, for starters just listen. This is my life. It is my body and I can do with both whatever the hell I want. Why do you care anyway? You don’t have to live with it. I do. So just care about your own business and don’t bother me with it. Hahahaha no, that’s usually what I think, but would never say. I mean, most of (actually every word of) what I just said is true, but those people mostly don’t mean to be offensive at all, they just really want to know the reason why fitness is such a big part of my life. So, I tell them the genuine truth.

But why?

It fulfils me. Moving, sweating, lifting weights, it gives me power. Willpower, self-confidence, and pride- all those emotions I only used to tell other people to feel I am now feeling myself. It may sound strange, but fitness has actually helped me to build up a certain level of self-love. I might not be at the end of the road yet, but I have improved so much. Moreover, sports helps me organise my thoughts. It helps me clear out my head and deal with my problems in an easier and less stressful way. There is nothing better than lifting all the anger off on a legendary #legday.

Another big impact on my fitness life probably make my workout buddies. My friends, who I have forced into that sports it seemed at first, but then started loving it as much as I do now, make every workout session so much fun. It is crazy how much only their presence pushes me in every session; the funny talks, the laughs we have, and the improvements we make not to mention.

However, the most important thing to mention within all this is that I do it for me. And only me. I guess some people just forget that it is not my friends, my secret crush, or Instagram why I am into fitness. I do it because I want to do it. I would lie if I said that it’s not at all about the appearance. Being honest (everyone in that business will agree with me here I think), as soon as you see results, it kind of because an addiction. You start seeing how much you are capable of, and you start loving challenges. I always say, I like to look like I am into sports for other people. But for sure that is not the only reason, it is only one of many.

So here you have it. The big stereotypical phrase of ‘I am into fitness’ exposed and the real reason of my #fitnesslifestyle being explained.

Let me know how you feel about this topic? Have you come across any stereotypical comments about going to the gym or working out yet?

Have a lovely Christmas break you all ♥

Lots of love,

Svenja xx

Fear.

Have you guys ever thought about where human’s fear comes from? What it actually takes to cause fear? Well I am not so sure myself, but I figured it is mainly linked to the unknown. As soon as we’re about to face a situation that is not familiar to us yet, our mind jumps to the conclusion of being afraid of it. When, in fact, we should be excited. We should jump for joy, curiosity, and we should look forward to experiencing something new. Instead, we crawl up inside a whole and sometimes we vanish that thought or idea we had just because we’re too scared to face it.

Realising that is rather sad. I mean, take a moment to reconsider all the decisions you’ve made in life so far. All the options you had, and all the possibilities you didn’t take just because you were too afraid to try something new. Even if it was just rejecting to buy a different yogurt or milk simply because you are satisfied with the one you always buy and it would be too much of a risk (or fear) of you to try out something new. Or if it were to wear a skirt to Uni for once, but then you change your mind because you always go there in jeans.

Which brings me back to the fact that we care way too much about what others might think. We make decisions based on other’s peoples’ opinions and call it ‘our’ decision. At least for a couple of days in the week we should try and act on our behalf; do things and make decisions based on our needs.

The comfort zone

We need to step out of our comfort zone in order to actually live. It makes you feel strong and powerful, I can tell. And it makes you independent. It separates you from the rest of the boring society that is caught up in all the norms and conventions. It makes you stand out of the crowd, it is what defines you. What makes you individual. It makes you feel alive. I wrote another blog post about society shape a few days ago, have a look if you’re interested in that topic.

The photo I picked kind of represents breaking out of fear for me. The sun is such a great symbol of warmth, curiosity, and new ideas. It enlightens us with new interests, and kind of makes us feel confident and happy.

Society shape.

Do you ever feel like you’ve been completely shaped by society? By other peoples’ opinions? When you think about it for once- everything you are today was influenced by society. The rules they made, you obey them. The norms there are, you try to match them. As soon as you don’t walk along that line, you are called an outsider. As soon as you start doing your own damn thing, people give you that strange face. But why?

Who sets those norms? Who gives you the right to give you that strange face just because you are doing your own thing. I mean, isn’t that what life is all about? Doing your own thing, outliving your passions and following your beliefs and your dreams? Think about it for a second: Why on earth would you follow someone else’s passion if you do not share it? Why would you wear that jacket that everyone is wearing if you do not even find it pretty? Just because everyone else is doing it ? God no!! Stay true to yourself and try to match your own image of society, not the one made by others.

“Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself.” – This is one special quote I always try to remember in everything I do.

Because you know, society pushes you around like tiny little Nemo in a fish bowl. You feel pressured doing your own thing because you feel like you have to explain yourself to “them”. But you do not have to. I always say, you shoud treat other people the same way you want to be treated by them. If someone is yelling at you on the bus without any reason, you should not yell back at them just because you want to make them know how it feels to be yelled at. You don’t like it when people yell at you, so don’t yell at them either. Simple as that. You just have to stand up straight and show what kind of strong, confident, and proud person you have become. That you will be yourself and do your thing no matter what. No matter how many obstacles they put on your path, you will never quit.

“If you fail, stand up, fix your ponytail, and try again.”

At some point in life it is yourself and your life you have to focus on. You have to make decisions based on your well- being and how you feel. You have to place yourself before others for once and think about what is best for you. Because you can choose who you are with, but you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

I chose the photo above because I think it expresses a sort of individuality of myself. I personally often feel out of place in this world, due to the society shape I talked about above. I will make sure to write another blog entry about that topic as well. The photo was taken in a very special moment of happiness and friendship, and in the very moment the two of us shared a sense of weirdness and our own crazy individuality.

 

The scary, unknown future

I have to think about the future a lot lately. What is going to happen in a few years time? Will I actually achieve the things I am aiming for in the present? Will all the effort be worth it?

Excitement

On the one hand, I do feel very excited about the future. I mean honestly, who does not love to imagine the super cool adult life where you are sipping coffee with your adult friends, while your husbands play football wth your kids. Or a super successful working carreer in a company making all your dreams come true. The thought of building a house for your family, being pregnant at the same time as your best friend, or raising your own children, these are things I look forward to so much.

It is the thought of actually living your life. Of creating it. Of making your own little memories your can later tell your children and grandchildren about. It is being able to work on your own projects in life, succeeding in them, and working yourself up what keeps it interesting and exciting.

Fear

But then on the other hand, there is this huge part of fear. The fear of failure. The fear of confusion and misleadings. I am often afraid that I will never find the right job for me. I am worried that, eventually, I will end up working for a big company that will not make me happy. I am worried that I will never end up having my own children because I might never find the love of my life. What if I will never be able to fulfill all of my dreams and goals? What if I end up alone without any job?

But as soon as these thoughts pop up in my mind, I try not to let them get to me that much. Because listen: There are like what 8 million people on this planet? And so so many people felt exactly the same as we are right now. They had to go through all of that, too and most of them made it.

We should always make the best out of every situation, no matter what. Even if you have absolutely no idea what you are going to do with your life right now, just live. Don’t waste all your energy on worrying for the future. Be excited about the things you don’t know yet because at some point they will come to you. Mostly when you least expect them.

So never lose your hope even if life is going a completely different way right now than you want it to be in the future. It might turn out to be completely the other way around again in one year.

Lots of love,

Svenja xx

Winter love :)

Who else loves winter? I can imagine that there are only a few people out there who agree with me in the respect that winter is the best season.

But I really hope that with this blog entry I might be able to at least make winter a bit more enjoyable for some of you 😊. I mean, honestly, what is there not to love about winter? Cold temperatures that make your cute little cheeks look red, the amazing fashion that you can wear on cold days, and the cup of tea you’re sipping, while sitting in front of a beautiful fireplace. Not to forget, the best holiday of the year coming closer everyday: CHRISTMAS. People who know me are already familiar with my huge obsession over winter and Christmas. They get annoyed every single year. And this year I let you be part of it :D. Let’s start off with one thing about winter that you can’t influence, and is mostly just disappointing: the weather.

The reason why people don’t like winter is very often connected to the certain weather, which they are used to having around that time of the year. Although I live in Germany (where the weather in winter is usually not that nice:D), I still love winter. Why? Well, because I basically grew up in snow. Since I was three years old, every single year over Christmas and New Year’s we’ve been going on skiing holidays. I learned how to ski before I learned how to walk! So, whenever I think about winter, my thoughts always slide back to all my lovely memories I made in the snow. I think of all the marvellous times with my family and friends in the beautiful mountains. I think of all the funny stories we can tell about the time on the slopes and the ski huts. And I also think about the place we go, the same place every year, where I meet the kindest and loveliest people who know me since I’ve been a little girl, and who always make me feel like home whenever I am there. So, it does not matter how depressingly grey and rainy the weather is in Germany, every year I look forward to winter because I know I will be going to the mountains (and the snow) very soon.

Winter fashion

I am aware that putting on like a thousand layers in winter can be very annoying. But still, there are more things to love than hate about fashion in winter. First of all, the coats and the boots. Ladies, be honest, there is nothing more stylish than a pretty winter coat, which is super soft on the inside, matched with the most gorgeous pair of winter boots. I, personally, am not the biggest fashion girl. I occasionally dress up, but my style is mostly casual and sporty. But in winter, I just love dressing up so much. A black dress with tights, over knee socks, and stylish boots. Or a nice pair of jeans matched with a comfy oversized wool jumper. I don’t think I will ever get tired of dressing up in winter. Now second of all, my favourite winter essentials, bubble hats, gloves, and scarfs. I think I have a little obsession with scarfs and bubble hats, I feel like I have about a hundred of them, and I will never have enough. It is fascinating how much you can pimp your outfit with a scarf or a hat. And it keeps you so warm (and looks really cute).

Christmas

Finally, I would like to share with you my love and passion for the best holiday of the year. Not only the presents, the advent calendar, or the food are the main things I love about Christmas. It is the atmosphere, the magical spirit that I just adore. The cold, snowy darkness outside, and the cosy atmosphere inside. All the scented candles that make a whole room smell all Christmassy, the fairy lights, and all the cute Christmas decorations that make you wish it was Christmas every day. Of course, not to forget the great Christmas music, which is played every single day in December. Next to all those things, I have left out maybe the most important reason why I love Christmas so much: family. Christmas is a holiday, that makes you appreciate your healthy and beloved family so much. I don’t think there is any day of the year that I appreciate the company and love of my entire family than on Christmas. The holidays have something magical, something that makes you so thankful for everything you have in life.

If you still don’t like winter or Christmas yet, just think about the gorgeous Christmas tree you will have, and all the presents underneath it 😛 ( and don’t forget the ginger bread and all the other yummy food you have on the holidays)

The photo was funnily taken in summer when we decided to see our favourite winter place also in summer for a change.  Yes, we went skiing in summer! It was about 25 degress in the village, but on the glacier it was around 5 degrees. That was a funny experience, but I prefer to ski in winter haha. But still, the landscape is just so stunning, I am in love with the pretty view.

Lots of love,

Svenjaxx

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